Tales of a Tenor

New home for Tales of a Tenor

2010-04-14T10:26:00.002-06:00

I have moved this blog over to http://talesofatenor.wordpress.com/

Please visit me there!

Clip of the Day

2010-03-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

I got this from Pat over at A Blog about Things and found it rather entertaining. So will you. Or stabbing will occur.

Clip of the Day

2010-03-17T00:00:00.001-06:00

The art of meeting men. Truer words were never spoken.

Clip of the Day - Mildly SFW

2010-03-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

A little strange, but, if you go to the original youtube site, it will explain everything. Hilariously funny.

Clip of the Day - Opera style

2010-03-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

This woman is ridiculous. I just LOVE the fur hat.

Clip of the Day

2010-03-12T00:00:00.001-07:00

Kids reenact Jersey Shore. FTW.

Clip of the Day

2010-03-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

An interesting take on Beyonce's video

Clip of the Day

2010-03-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

An entertaining parody of the SuperBowl commercial.

Original for reference:

Clip of the Day

2010-03-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Shakespeare reinterpreted. 'Nuff said

Clip of the Day

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

This made the rounds last week, but is still tres funny.

Clip of the Day

2010-03-05T00:00:00.003-07:00

There are no words for the priceless video.
Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2010-03-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Really?
Who bowls like that?

Clip of the Day

2010-03-03T00:00:00.002-07:00

Err, duh.

Catching up, demi-blog style

2010-03-02T13:37:00.002-07:00

So, I've been perhaps the worst blogger of all time. The last time I posted something of note that wasn't a video was July 13... [blog fail]

Anyway. Instead of retroactively writing blogs about the past, I'm just going to give you a nice set of demi-blogges about things that have happened from then to now and then be a good blogger and post on a regular basis, instead of having another one of these posts...

Things that have happened since I have last blogged:

I went to Minneapolis for a week to have a lot of fun with friends I met when I was in Italy in 2007. Lots of fun ensued, including a viewing of Harry Potter 6 after having quite a few cocktails...Like 4 STRONG martinis. Other highlights included going to the beach (yes, they do, in fact have beaches within the city limits) & running into people I knew from SLC that now live in the Twin Cities.
I drove down to Tucson with the Boif to drop him and his mom off at the U of Arizona (working on his Masters, she, her DMA) with the requisite stop in Vegas. Possibly one of the only times that gay folks have stayed at the Hooters Casino & Resort. Despite the reputation, the hotel was nice, the food was good, and the pools were wonderful. It certainly is a sign of addiction when you make it your goal to get to St. George in less than 4 hours because that's when the Starbucks closes. We then rushed to get to Vegas in less 2 hours, but very clearly going the speed limit, officer, because I had never seen the Bellagio dancing water live before, and we would be leaving before the 'shows' start the next day. And Boif + mom thought it important for me, seeing as how I love spectacle. Totally wonderful. Glad that when we were there when they were not playing Time to say goodbye; partially because I'm not a large fan of it in general, but it is Sarah Brightman singing. Just like Anna Netrebko, not a large fan. That said, I do like Anna much more than Sarah.
I have been in the chorus of Utah Opera's productions of Macbeth & Carmen (Italian girl in Algiers is coming up in March though). These three shows have been wonderful to be in, as they have given me the opportunity to meet a lot of fun people(chorus and principals), get paid to do something I'm going to school for *concept*, and just have a lot of fun in general. Despite the obvious, it makes me feel like I am a "professional" singer, but not in chorus, if that makes sense. I think that Macbeth was the most informative, and network building of the shows, Carmen the most fun off stage and I believe that Italian girl will be the most fun on stage, seeing as how staging rehearsals are going.

From now on, I promise to keep all of my readers updated much more. Henceforth and all that jazz.

Ciao belli!

Help!

2010-02-11T13:04:00.002-07:00

I am in the planning stages of starting a new [classical music] concert series here in Salt Lake. Unfortunately, I cannot come up with a name for said series that I am really in love with, which is why I have asked you here...

Details:

Location: Utah Museum of Fine Arts (UMFA)
Day/Time: Sunday afternoons (not every one though)
Usual performers: advanced students/groups at the University of Utah, former students beginning a career, or other professionals/groups in the area
Usual programming: heavily classical, but also, possibly 1 jazz concert a season

Ideally, this name would incorporate the fact that the series is at an art museum and that it is a classical music/jazz series.

Thanks,

Mitch

Clip of the day

2010-02-11T09:17:00.002-07:00

Rather entertaining for us opera folk...

Clip of the Day

2010-02-09T11:31:00.002-07:00

A T-shirt war. Delightful.

Clip of the Day

2010-02-08T10:19:00.003-07:00

I got this from Jenny: The Bloggess from her Good Mom/Bad Mom Blog and just had to share it with you. It has a good message, and is rather entertaining when you look at the comments below it...such as:

I'm wondering where the follow up video is. You know, the one that says, "don't take acid when your family is around. You'll start acting like you're driving a car and it'll really freak them out."

Clip of the Day

2010-02-03T10:01:00.002-07:00

I know that I've been a bad blogger, and I am trying to start again, but things have been a little hectic around here. All will be revealed in a later post. Anywho...

A hilarious clip from Ms. Joyce DiDonato herself.

Clip of the day, II

2009-11-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

Another amazing video.

Clips of the Day: Se-kur-iuh-tay! Se-kur-iuh-tay! Se-kur-iuh-tay!

2009-11-05T09:24:00.003-07:00

I know that some of you have already seen these, but I think that they're too good to not post.

Enjoy!

This first video is just amazing. Pure and simple.

This second one is a parody, of sorts, of a MadTV skit, featuring the character Bon Qui Qui. But this time, it is a little boy, complete with his fake French tips, that portrays this iconic character.

Below is the original Bon Qui Qui skit for reference.

Clip of the Year

2009-10-21T13:55:00.001-06:00

No words are needed for this video

Clip of the Day

2009-08-21T12:13:00.001-06:00

Who doesn't love the Golden Girls?

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-08-19T00:00:00.001-06:00

This became viral a couple of months ago, but I felt that I needed to share this with you, both as a blogger and as a gay...

Enjoy! I know I did.

Clip of the Day

2009-08-18T00:00:00.001-06:00

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-08-17T00:00:00.002-06:00

Fall out of your seat funny.

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-08-14T09:36:00.000-06:00

For all you Facebookers out there.
Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-08-07T15:57:00.001-06:00

WTF. That's all

Clip of the Day

2009-08-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

This post is from my friend's blog, but I thought that it was pretty amazing, amazing enough to repost.

I’m reading a book called Subterranean Twin Cities that talks about caves, sewers, and other underground things in the metro area. The largest storm sewer in the cities, called “Geyser Drain” by this book’s author, is a 5-mile-long y-shaped tunnel that runs 120 feet below the streets of Minneapolis.

One branch starts near Minnehaha Creek and eventually works its way under 35W before joining the other branch (originating in Loring Park) and discharging into the Mississippi. During periods of extreme rainfall, storm water backs up in the 14-foot-wide tunnel, rises up through 120-foot-deep vent shafts, and shoots out of holes in the median between the lanes of 35W. It’s pretty crazy.

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-08-04T11:54:00.001-06:00

Enjoy

Clip of the Day

2009-08-03T00:00:00.001-06:00

Enjoy.
A little boy dancing. He's pretty hot shit.

Clip of the Day

2009-07-31T00:00:00.000-06:00

Enjoy today's clip!

Blooper reels are rarely available for films that are over 70 yrs old, but luckily that’s not the case for My Man Godfrey (1936).

Carole Lombard was famous for having the mouth of a sailor and she admirably lives up to that reputation in this outtake reel for My Man Godfrey (though William Powell is no slouch when it comes to profanity).

Clip of the Day

2009-07-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

I got this via Ryan Seacrest's twitter a while ago and now want to share it with all of you!

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-07-29T00:00:00.000-06:00

Another video, courtesy of A blog about things. This is of the Kuroshio Sea, at the aquarium in Okanawa, Japan. It is the world's second largest aquarium, containing 7,500 cubic meters (1,981,290 gallons) of water and features the second largest acrylic glass panel, 8.2m x 22.5m x 60cm.

Enjoy!

Clip of the day

2009-07-28T00:00:00.000-06:00

I know this is relatively old, but I liked it. So there.

Enjoy!

Clip of the Day

2009-07-27T00:00:00.000-06:00

A fun wedding processional. Proof that weddings can be fun. Sometimes.

Clip of the day

2009-07-24T00:00:00.000-06:00

In light of yesterday's big news, I found this video.
The music is from Verdi's La traviata, Act II, Scene 2.

Opera at the Met

2009-07-23T12:39:00.007-06:00

It would appear that someone has made a BIG sacrifice to the opera gods regarding the the Met's 2010-11 new production of Wagner's Ring Cycle.

From the New York Times:

In January 2007, during a public discussion at The New York Times, Mr. Gelb first revealed the names of the lead singers for the Met’s new production of Wagner’s “Ring,” directed by Robert Lepage, to be introduced starting in 2010: Deborah Voigt, singing her first staged Brünnhilde in a complete “Ring”; Bryn Terfel as Wotan; Ben Heppner as Siegfried.

Praise. Jesus.
I. can't. wait.

Clips of the day

2009-07-23T10:46:00.003-06:00

I saw these two clips over at a blog about things, and had to put them up for the day. They are from Disney's Hollywood Studio. Every so often, they offer 'Star Wars Weekends' Part of this is a dance-off between characters from the franchise.

Enjoy!

Clip of the day

2009-07-21T13:35:00.002-06:00

Even though this has been around for a little while, I thought that I'd share it with you. Those folks at College Humor sure are entertaining. Enjoy!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Clip of the day

2009-07-20T10:46:00.003-06:00

I found this on a blog about things and had to share it with you today for the premiere posting of this feature.

Enjoy!

Ugly Shoe of the Week

2009-07-13T10:05:00.004-06:00

Today's shoe comes to us from that beacon of fashion, Nordstrom. The Donald J Pliner 'Carly' Platform Sandal retails for a whopping $465.
What is there to say about this shoe? If this shoe was a solid color, it would be much better. Instead, it looks like the black part of the cow print was spattered like paint...or blood. As for a suggested outfit? I'd go with a denim mini, preferably acid wash, with a wife beater, color is your choice. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you could take a dress shirt and tie it under the girls, exposing your stomach, for all to enjoy. Also, this would be a great shoe to go to the state fair in, dontcha think?

Back to blogging

2009-07-13T10:01:00.007-06:00

I am trying to get back on a regular schedule with my blog features (Ugly Shoe of the Week & Women Who Make Me Touch Myself). I do apologize for not keeping up on such things, but life got a little crazy after the first couple postings. Also, I will be creating a new feature, hopefully daily(during the week), but I make no promises, called Clip of the Day.

Happy reading!

Ciao,
Mitch

Random YouTube Videos

2009-05-18T14:44:00.003-06:00

I know that I haven't blogged recently, but this is an attempt to do so...So, enjoy the movies.

Filippa Giordano

2009-02-26T14:06:00.004-07:00

I don't think that there are words to describe this aptly.

An english version of Nessun dorma from Puccini's Turandot.

O mio babbino caro from Puccini's Gianni Schicchi

Vissi d'arte from Puccini's Tosca

Casta diva from Bellini's Norma

Una voce poco fa from Rossini's Il barbiere di Siviglia

Habanera from Bizet's Carmen

Si, mi chiamano Mimi from Puccini's La boheme

Its raining....men?

2009-02-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

Could this be any more amazing?...Or cute? I think not. Enjoy!

Women Who Make Me Touch Myself: Renée Fleming (Soprano)

2009-02-07T00:00:00.006-07:00

Welcome to 'Women Who Make Me Touch Myself'! This is the first of a monthly series in which I will talk about female opera singers & one of their albums that make me all hot and bothered. And, really, is there any singer besides Ms. Fleming that should start such a discussion? (Well if you're one of those people, Ms. Callas may be the one, but I digress...)

Renée Fleming

As “the people’s diva,” renowned soprano Renée Fleming continues to charm audiences throughout the world with her superb vocal intelligence, exquisite musical grace, and voice of “liquid gold.” Her artistry has taken her to the world’s capitals and great opera houses, captivating audiences everywhere she goes. On September 22, 2008, the Metropolitan Opera celebrates her in their Gala Opening Night —an evening starring this beloved singer. Additional appearances at the Metropolitan Opera this season are in Massenet's Thaïs and Dvorák’s Rusalka. Over the past few seasons, Ms. Fleming has begun hosting many broadcasts, including the Met’s HD series for movie theaters as well as television, and “Live from Lincoln Center” on PBS. In fall 2008, the perfume company Coty launches La Voce by Renée Fleming, her first ever fragrance with the proceeds benefiting the Metropolitan Opera.

Following a triumphant set of June performances of Capriccio, the Vienna State Opera welcomes Ms. Fleming back in October 2008, followed by November performances of Donizetti’s Lucrezia Borgia at Washington National Opera (conducted by Plácido Domingo), Massenet’s Thaïs at the Metropolitan Opera in December through January 2009, and a return to the Metropolitan Opera in March for performances of Dvorák’s Rusalka. Additional appearances this season are at galas for the symphony orchestras of Edmonton, Portland, and Milwaukee, as well as European tours with Orchestre National de France and Orchestre de Paris. Ms. Fleming’s 2008-09 season concludes with performances of Verdi’s La traviata at Covent Garden’s Royal Opera. A master of recitals, she appears this season at noted venues across North America, including Rice University, Vanderbilt University, Denison University, Boston's Symphony Hall and Toronto’s Roy Thomson Hall, among others.

A two-time Grammy winner, Ms. Fleming’s most recent CD, Strauss: Four Last Songs, conducted by Christian Thielemann, was released in fall 2008. In 2007, Decca released two DVDs featuring Renée Fleming: Los Angeles Opera’s production of La traviata and Metropolitan Opera’s HD Live Eugene Onegin. Her last CD recording, entitled Homage – The Age of the Diva, was released in fall of 2006 and is comprised of rarely-heard works associated with legendary singers of the past. In recent years, this nine-time Grammy nominated artist has recorded everything from Strauss’ complete Daphne to the jazz recording Haunted Heart, to the movie soundtrack of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Her recording honors range from the 2006 Echo Award for Strauss’ Daphne to the Prix Maria Callas Orphée d’Or by the Académie du Disque Lyric for TDK’s DVD production of Capriccio.

Renée Fleming’s artistry has been an inspiration to many other prominent artists, such as Chuck Close and Robert Wilson, whose portraits of her were included in the Metropolitan Opera’s 2007 fund-raising auction. Two portraits of Ms. Fleming were also created by Francesco Clemente, who displayed the work at Salzburg’s Easter Festival in spring 2007, with the Metropolitan Opera displaying the other in 2008. Among her numerous awards are Sweden’s Polar Prize (2008); the Chevalier de la Légion d’Honneur by the French government (2005); Honorary Membership in the Royal Academy of Music (2003); and a 2003 Honorary Doctorate from The Juilliard School, where she was also commencement speaker.

As a musical statesman, Renée Fleming has recently been sought after for numerous distinguished occasions, from the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize ceremony honoring Nobel Laureate Muhammad Yunus, to the 2008 Nobel Laureates Conference in Jordan, as well as appearances at Buckingham Palace for Prince Charles.

An advocate for literacy, Renée Fleming has been featured in promotional campaigns for the Association of American Publishers (Get Caught Reading,) and the Magazine Publishers of America’s READ poster campaign for the American Library Association. She was honored by The New York Public Library as a “Library Lion.” Her book, “The Inner Voice,” was published by Viking Penguin in 2004, and released in paperback by Penguin the following year. An intimate account of her career and creative process, the book is also published in France by Fayard Editions, in the United Kingdom by Virgin Books, by Henschel Verlag in Germany, Shunjusha in Japan, and by Fantom Press in Russia.

In addition to her work on stage and in recordings, Renée Fleming has represented Rolex timepieces in print advertising since 2001. Master Chef Daniel Boulud has created the dessert “La Diva Renée” (1999) in her honor, and she has inspired the “Renée Fleming Iris” (2004,) which has been replicated in porcelain by Boehm. Having been added to Mr. Blackwell’s best dressed list in 2001, her gowns have been designed by Gianfranco Ferré, Issey Miyake, Bill Blass, Vivienne Westwood, Angel Sanchez, Oscar de la Renta, John Galliano, Christian Lacroix, and Karl Lagerfeld.

Ms. Fleming is currently a member of the Board of Trustees of the Carnegie Hall Corporation and of the Advisory Board of the White Nights Foundation of America.

In her self-titled album, she does all 19th-century arias, sticking to Italian operas - mostly Puccini - but also including arias from Massenet's Manon, Bizet's Carmen, Gounod's Roméo et Juliette and the rarely done (especially in French) Verdi Les vêpres siciliennes.

While we all know that Renée Fleming is phenomenal, this album is amazing; she nails all of the arias. All of them have the traits they need and nothing less. Above all, they all have finesse, which is more than we can say about some of her colleagues. [cough] Juan Diego Florez [cough] Everyone loves Butterfly's aria Un bel di, but my favorite on this album is from the Verdi. She puts an E-natural at the end that is unlike any I've ever heard. Note: Ms. Fleming is the only soprano I know to go to the e-natural. On a humorous note, my friend and I have decided that she took one day and just recorded the end of that aria. So, the day went like this: "...notes, a few measures before the note...high e-natural. Ok guys, lets go home." Also, If you look at the album cover, it essentially says, "Hi, my name is Renée Fleming and do you know what is underneath this mirror-like object? Well bitches, it's an E-natural!"

Below is a youtube version of this track. Enjoy!

For more information about Ms. Fleming, go to her website: www.reneefleming.com

What the Lucia...

2009-02-05T23:46:00.002-07:00

No. Words.

Ugly Shoe of the Week

2009-02-01T19:30:00.002-07:00

This week's shoe is a real treat!

This is the Marciano 'Tamina' Pump and retails for $249.95.

How does one describe this shoe? J'ne sais pas. The darkened zebra print really is a nice touch though. And that ever so cute peep toe will let you show off your newly 'did' pedi. How precious. I think the preferred outfit for this shoe is a mini that goes just a little past the kitty, and a shirt that is a couple sizes too small. Thoughts?

See you next week!

Ugly Shoe of the Week

2009-01-25T19:30:00.003-07:00

Welcome to the first installment of Ugly Shoe of the Week! I hope you enjoy this series. Any comments or suggestions(for other shoes or genres) are greatly appreciated.

This week's shoe is a bastardized version of everyone's favorite: the Chuck Taylor. It is called the 'Tattoo High-Top Kick' and retails for $24.99.

My co-worker and I were talking about this shoe, and she asked me why I dislike it so much. I simply asked her what is to like about it? I mean, really, what is there to like? The gaudiness of the 'tattoo', the colors... What would you even wear this with? I have not the slightest clue.

Thanks for tuning in, and come next week to see what my internet search has found!

New monthly feature

2009-01-25T14:45:00.002-07:00

Just so ya'll know, on the first Saturday of each month, there will be a post about a famous singer. I won't spill the beans on what the title of said series will be, but it will be amazing, you can rest assured.

See you on February 7!

New weekly feature

2009-01-25T14:22:00.006-07:00

I'm going to write a weekly feature: Ugly Shoe of the Week. Seeing as how I work in a shoe store, I see plenty of ugly shoes. And, as is our nature, I would like to share these lovely works with you. Look for it on Sunday nights around 7pm.

Enjoy,

Mitch

Marriage, eh?

2009-01-20T11:43:00.002-07:00

I found this link whilst reading some of my fav. blogs...check it out!

http://www.religiondispatches.org/blog/sexandgender/755/

Prop. 8 - The Musical

2008-12-03T23:43:00.001-07:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Keith Oberman, I applaud you.

2008-11-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

Damned, Pt. 2

2008-09-08T11:03:00.025-06:00

I got another batch of these, so I thought that I'd share again...

Pearls before swine...

2008-07-21T09:26:00.003-06:00

I had this and thought that the world needed to see it.

and this one too.

for more of Pearls Before Swine, go to: http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/

Things opera has taught me about love

2008-07-17T09:55:00.005-06:00

Opera has a lot to teach us about the wild and often hilarious world of love, sex and relationships. First love, marriage, adultery, incest, necrophilia, you name it – it's been covered in an opera.

It's O.K. to pray a little in order to get some. – Lohengrin

If someone is offering sex, take it! Don't complicate things! – Tannhäuser

Business and personal lives are best kept separate. – Pagliacci

Never let a chick do your hair: professionals only. – Samson et Delilah

She's a perfect match for you -- you're her prince and she's your princess. Just watch out for her mother. – Magic Flute

If your fiancee comes up w/ every excuse possible to not marry you soon, she probably doesn't want to marry you at all. – Don Giovanni

When you're trying to steal a girl away, don't threaten her by telling her what you might do to the guy whom she's with, while at the same time leaving butter knives lying around in her sight and within her reach. – Tosca

If you want to elope with a girl, do it without letting your dad know. – La Traviata

No matter how much you're in love with him, he can still cheat on you. Remember that! – Rusalka

When the girl is already married to someone else, it's probably too late. – Eugene Onegin

When you're trying to pick up a chick, make sure you're not drunk. Honestly, it's just a much better idea to impress women while sober! – Les Contes d'Hoffmann

Don't go for a woman who'd be happy to see your head chopped off. Seriously, stay away from women like that! – Turandot

When it comes to relationships, maybe it's better if you don't listen to your mom. – Magic Flute

Find out a bit more about a woman's background before you rush to start dating her, just to make sure that she's not actually your aunt. – Siegfried

When your irritating old husband says he's pulling the car around and is going to wait for you, it's a bad time to fool around with your sexy tenor boyfriend. Said old husband will come looking for you. – Manon Lescaut

Flirting with your fiance's friend at your sister's party is just not a good idea. – Eugene Onegin

Gamblers = bad. Princes = good. – Queen of Spades

If he's been gone for three years and hasn't even written you, just marry the rich guy. – Madame Butterfly

Beware the mama's boy. Inside each burns a murderous, jealous rage. – Carmen

Cherubino, Orlovsky, etc..... if he's wearing pants (or what passed for pants back in the day), he's a man. No questions asked about his suspiciously high voice, his petite frame, his rounded thighs, or his lack of facial hair. Whether you date him or not is your call...

If your first girlfriend turns out to be a robot, just stop trying. Nothing good will come of it. – Contes d'Hoffmann

Don't kill your girlfriend's relatives. – Pique Dame

Jewelry makes up for everything. – Candide

If she rejects you at first, pretend to commit suicide a few times, and she'll eventually give in. – Cosi fan tutte

Naked women are MAGICAL. – Das Wunder Der Heliane

Never beleive a soldier who tells you he loves you but has to go back to his country....especially if his name is Benjamin Franklin. – Madame Butterfly

Don't plan a tryst in the dark; your page, or your wife might show up. – Le nozze di Fiagro

Write her a song and then sing it to her. it's a sure-fire way to get in her pants. – Meistersinger

Egyptian princes are pussies. – Magic Flute

Tenors and mezzos just don't get along. – Carmen

It's okay to be love your coat, even if it is a little creepy and a bit out of place. – La boheme

Tenors get paid the most money for the least amount of work. – Rosenkavalier

The guys want to have sex with an experienced woman, but they prefer to marry a innocent virgin. – Rosenkavalier

Just listen to your daddy and don't speak with strangers, he knows better what's good for you. – Rigoletto

Diamonds are not always girl's best friends. – Faust

If you didn't order it, don't drink it. – Tristan und Isolde

Sometimes, you'll do really crazy things if it means your lover will stop suffering. And sometimes it doesn't help. – Tosca

It's okay to ditch your sick mother if the girl's hot. – Carmen

Don't have a romantic meeting in a poorly lit garden with an effeminate page running around. – Le nozze di Figaro

If there's a guy out there trying to get with your ward, don't let a mysterious young music student in the house. – Il barbiere di Siviglia

Talk to your girlfriend or else she just may kill herself – Die Zauberflote

Birds are hot – Die Zauberflote

So are army chicks. – La fille du regiment

Don't trust Spanish noblemen. – Don Giovanni and Le nozze di Figaro

If you want Daddy to approve of your relationship, just threaten suicide. – Gianni Schicchi

Its OK if you don't know his name, or where he's from, or anything about him. But swans are cool. – Lohengrin

Blame it on the champagne. – Die Fledermaus

Champagne can make you way too flirty, but as long as you only flirt with your wife (even if she's in disguise) everything will turn out fine. – Die Fledermaus

"I was drunk, k?" ~Fledermaus

I'm a free-shooter. Look out, baby. – Der Freischütz

If your son was stolen from you in infancy, think twice before trying to marry a much younger man. – Le Nozze di Figaro

If she tells you in not one but TWO arias that she's fickle and a player, then don't get pissed when she kicks you to the curb. – Carmen

If you love too many people at one time, your conscious might trap you in a burning house. – Don Giovanni

It's true love ... only if there's a potion involved. – Tristan und Isolde

The best way to her heart is through the phone. – Telephone Hour

Sceances make for GREAT dates! But if the spirit actually comes back from the dead and someone gets shot ... well ... you'll live. You'll learn. – The Medium

Yeah, she's beautiful. But if she has a rich uncle, then you've REALLY landed someone special! – Gianni Schicchi

If she caughs too much, she's gonna' die. – La Boheme & Traviata

Getting involved with the first woman you have ever seen might be good, but make sure that there aren't any desperate spinsters around as soon as you leave her. – Siegfried & Götterdämmerung

If you're flirting and he just doen't get it, frame him and make him run away with you. – The Old Maid and the Thief

If your boss is sexually harassing you, get his wife involved. If you're lucky, you'll even get your true love in the end. – Le nozze di Figaro

Stay clear of women with an axe to grind. – Electra

She doesn't really love you for your talent. – Die Gezeichneten

Does your husband have a wandering eye? Rosina Almaviva suggests reviving the spark by engaging in a little harmless flirtation with your pubescent godson. Sure, the ensuing intrigue might take a few entertaining hours to sort out, but it should turn out alright in the end. – Le nozze di Figaro

A good, piazza-temperature Bordeaux, once it's been allowed to breathe, really IS a love potion! – Elixir
It is expensive to date in Paris. – Manon, Manon Lescault and Traviata

Can't attract anyone? Concoct a love potion (Tristan)! But be careful, or you may be made an ass! (Midsummer Night's Dream)

Sometimes, she really is telling the truth when she says she's not cheating on you, even you did catch her in a really sketchy situation. – Un Ballo in Maschera

Just accept his proposal already, particularly if you're pregnant with his love child. – Vanessa

If you dress up like a girl to get your girl, and she transforms into a tree to get away, give up, man. Just give up. – Daphne

If killing yourself makes her sorry, then guess what? You STILL can't have her, 'cause you're dead! Idiot. – Werther

Never believe your best friend when he agrees it's "hands off the hot priestess". – Pearl Fishers

Having only one eye won't stop a man from looking ... and by looking, I mean screwing anyone who holds still long enough. – The Ring Cycle

My daughter, the only man who will have you is the man who can penetrate your cursed ring of fire. – Ring Cycle

Dude, she's your mom. Seriously. – Oedipus Rex

Do what the little boys say. – Magic Flute

If you have magical instruments, don't forget about them. – Magic Flute

Every so often, it just turns out that the girl you want to marry actually turns out to be a guy dressed up as the Queen of the Fairies. – Falstaff

Chicks dig castrati. – Giulio Cesare

It's all fun and games until you flirt with too many men - then various knifings ensue. – Pagliacci

Just don't ask. – Bluebeard’s Castle, Elsa & Lohengrin

If she's too good to be real, she probably is. – Contes d'Hoffmann

If you've struck out four times in a row, maybe your boring ass should stick to poetry. – Contes d'Hoffmann

If you've stuck around for 20 years waiting for Mr. Right, and you end up settling for Mr. Right Jr., don't be shocked when he knocks up your niece and is generally a douchebag. – Vanessa

If she says no, just marry her sister. Hey, it worked for Mozart... – Little Women

If he tends to sing unmelodic, atonal, unsettled gibberish, you probably shouldn't cheat on him. – Wozzeck

When the sketchy Master at Arms strokes you and tells you "handsomely done, me lad," ask for a transfer to another ship. – Billy Budd

Never trust a soprano when playing cards. – La Fanciulla del West

If you're dating a soprano in a Janacek opera, meet her stepmother first. – Jenufa

If you sing a duet with them, any woman will have sex with you...almost. – Don Giovanni

You can avoid charges of murder and rape by dressing up like your man-servant. – Don Giovanni

Always have a knife on hand. – Tosca

Never trust a bass-baritone who's straight. – Don Giovanni

I am waiting for my lover. Where is he? Oh, and who is this dead man in front of me? Oh yea, he's my lover. Oh yea, I was also the one who killed him. – Erwartung

Never marry a girl who won't take off her vail to show you her face. – Don Pasquale

Don't marry your nephew's girlfriend: she can't have good intentions! – Don Pasquale

True love is worth waiting for, even for the next 63 celibate years. – Pirates of Penzance

If you can't make true love work, just bureaucratically kill off your fiancee. And you'll live happily-ever-after...buried alive. Tra-la! – Mikado

Never believe any lady that wants to fix you up with her hot daughter in bondage has good intentions. – Die Zauberflote

Don't date guys with baggage. – Bluebeard’s Castle

Listen to the rumors, especially if they're laid out in a convenient aria format. – Don Giovanni

Spanish chicks are easy. Come on, 1003?! – Don Giovanni

He'll regret rejecting you someday. Seriously. – Eugene Onegin

All an uptight guy needs is to get trashed. – Albert Herring

Stay away from religious authorities. – Susannah

Sometimes you should just thaw out and let him kiss you before some innocent bystander gets killed. – Turandot

Hookers, don't give discounts: you never know who's secretly Jack the Ripper. – Lulu

Don't have sex with anyone. EVER. – Parsifal

Stay innocent and out of your fiance's family's business, and everything will turn out okay. – Gianni Schicchi

Go for the old woman. Sometimes she's hot. – Magic Flute

Love your woman even though she's fickle and unfaithful like all women? – Cosi fan tutte

Be SURE you know his or her gender, if that sort of thing is important to you. – Fidelio

The hot ones are always crazy. – Lucia, Puritani & Carmen (just a few)

If he's dead, he can't say no. – Salome

Consumption is sexy. – La Traviata & La Boheme

Don't piss off the dramatic soprano. You will live to regret it, though probably only briefly. Wagner’s operas

A fifteen year age difference really is too much. – Rosenkavalier

Gender is meaningless. – Alcina

It is possible to be extremely shallow and have lots of people still like you. – La bohème

Men suck. Prticularly American men. – Madame butterfly

Seriously, Dude, She's Your Sister. – Die Walküre

If your girlfriend marries your dad, it was never meant to be. – Don Carlo(s)

Because I'm already damned...

2008-07-10T09:16:00.001-06:00

I got these from a friend and had to share them with the rest of the world. Enjoy!

Diva diet

2008-06-22T19:27:00.000-06:00

I read this in the Cecilia Bartoli bio by Manuela Hoelterhoff, Cinderella & Company, and fell out of my chair at Starbucks.

I thought that my opera friends, or those closely associated would truly appreciate it.

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice of whole wheat toast
8 oz. low-fat or skim milk

LUNCH
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinish
1 cup herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK
Rest of Oreos in pack
2 pints Haagen Dazs ice cream, preferably vanilla
1 jar hot fudge sauce with nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Large cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
3 Milky Way candy bars

LATE-EVENING NEWS
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer

AND KEEP IN MIND
1. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories, because they are part of the entire entertainment package and are not part of one's personal intake.
2. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes caloric leakage.
3. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples include spinach and pistachio ice cream, cauliflower and whipped cream.
4. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.

Mom

2008-06-10T10:14:00.000-06:00

So, I don't have a whole lot of time, but I thought that I'd write a quick one.

Last night, my mother was t-boned. She said she was fine, just a little sore, and still in shock. She saw the car coming, and turned away and leaned into the middle of the car. She went to LDS hospital after eating dinner and is doing fine, to the best of my knowledge.

Please keep her in your thoughts/prayers.

Thanks.

My name is Mitchell and I have a problem...

2008-05-19T23:27:00.000-06:00

I crave music. That is my problem. That said, it's not really a problem... Being a musician(despite what some say about singers and tenors specifically), it's a good thing that I crave it, otherwise I am in the wrong profession. But, what I do to fill this craving is what's questionable...bordering on ethically reprehensible.

Going back a little while (2 years-ish)... I had to re-format my computer because it was being stupid, and I had a fairly good collection of music on my computer that I listened to pretty regularly. Unfortunately, this re-formatting had the timing of in-laws, and happened about 3 weeks before my month long sojourn to Europe with my choir to sing in France & Spain. My collection was about 24Gbs, and since I didn't get the chance to back it up, I knew that this was not going to be a quick job, but I wanted to have all of it and was determined to get as much of it back as possible. At this point in time, I had been an avid buyer of CDs, either at a store or from iTunes. Obviously, I had some music from the local library, but no more than really 20-30 CDs. One thing I knew for sure was that I was not going to repurchase the CDs I had from iTunes, and, miraculously enough, the library had a lot of the CDs that I had bought, so I promptly checked those out and as many as I could of the ones that I had originally "borrowed" from the library. I found out, that the library puts a limit on how many CDs you can have checked out at one time (30). So, as I was rebuilding my collection, I went to the library about 2-3 times a week to check out CDs. My close friend made fun of me for this saying that once I had started, I would not be able to stop. I eventually became so engrossed with getting new CDs at the library that I was not getting time to put on CDs that I actually owned. As it turned out, as unsurprising as it is, I was unable to get all of my music back onto my iPod, but I got about 20Gbs back, so I wasn't suffering for the month long trip.

As a side note (in the present), I have had the most paradoxical luck with my iPods. I originally bought a 20Gb and thought that I'd never fill it, but eventually did. Well, it had problems, and when I sent it back to Apple to fix, I received a 30Gbs back, as this was then the smallest iPod available. Then the same thought went through, and lo and behold, there was 27Gbs of music on my iPod. Then, this one went on the fritz and I sent it in, and what did my eyes behold when I opened the returning package? An 80Gbs iPod. (I was always happy whenever this happened, but it was always a strange experience.) Anyway, back to our story...

We are now in the present, for those of you keeping track. So, I essentially go to the library about once a week and get 30 CDs and put them on my laptop and return them within 2-3 days. (I know, I'm an awful person) Recently, I figured out that I can check out more than 30 if I use the self-checkout machine. So, instead of 30, I usually get 45. However, when I have something on hold, I have to be sneaky and only check out some with the person at the counter, because they obviously won't check out 45 CDs to anyone. Today, when I was at the library, I was already close to my limit when I went to the counter, so I had to play everything cool. When I went to check out my remaining CDs, I noticed that the person who helped me before who actually checked my items "checked out" before she did the CDs to make sure I wasn't going to go over 30 was not helping anyone, and I definitely couldn't go to the check out machine that was in very close proximity of her with out anyone there. So what do I do? I go back to the CDs/movies to "browse" until I saw a line form that would cover my transgressions. (Is this a sign of an addiction?) And when I left, I made sure not to make eye contact with anyone, specifically the woman who helped me.

In addition to all of the public library CDs, I am a large user of ILL(InterLibrary Loan). I go to worldcat and find the CDs that I want, and put in a request at my university's library, and about 2 weeks later, I have a CD...or score. I have received about 100 CDs from here alone.

I haven't paid for a CD or score(music) in over a year. I am currently at 90.27Gbs of music, which translates to: 23, 714 songs or 67 days, 22 hours, 4 minutes and 34 seconds of music.

I figure admitting that I do this is one of the first steps, right? Granted, I don't take this very seriously, otherwise I would have stopped doing it ages ago. As a matter of fact, most people that know of my collection joke about it and we all have a good laugh. So feel free to laugh at me all you want. I don't really plan on stopping, but as long as I admit it, I'm not trying to fool anyone. Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway.

However, on a positive note, because of my nerd-ity, I have had people ask me for repertoire suggestions or help on papers or recitals. This is not even limited to vocalists, I have had a few pianists ask for ideas on pieces they could play...or if I suggest it to them, should play. As long as I am helping others, I figure it is ok, since our government sure isn't going to educate people. cough. cough.

Thanks for listening and tune in next time.

Ciao.